ELIZABETHTOWN — Hidden in the dark depths of the alley between the Old Jail and Essex County Court lurked a band of mourners, many dressed in black.
As Essex County Deputy Clerk Janet Cross emerged from her car to mark her 50th birthday with what she thought would be a quiet birthday lunch, the group wound its way down the street with much fanfare.
Led by Cross's brother-in-law Ed Gryzanowski, they bestowed upon the woman a tiara, magic wand and bouquet of dead roses — festooned with spider webs — that has been presented to other members of the family on similar occasions.
With much levity, Gryzanowski treated Cross and the crowd to a eulogy to her days of yore and discoursed on her new life as "Old Janet."
He noted the benefits to which she was now entitled, such as AARP membership, senior-citizen discounts, orthopedic shoes, bran flakes and other rites of passage.
The age 50, in earlier times, was old. In fact, it was once considered average life expectancy, and, unfortunately, remains so in some third-world countries.
In the United States today, hitting that half-century mark is often just a laughing matter.
"I went to bed the night before and thought about it," mused Cross about turning 50 after her birthday "wake." "The next day when I awoke, I really didn't feel any different. When I saw what was happening (at lunchtime), I said, 'Oh, my gosh.' I couldn't believe it. It was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing."
The merriment worked both ways.
Joyce Spooner, Cross's sister, saw the party as payback — for a birthday message Cross had put in a newspaper some 20 years earlier when her sister turned the ancient age of 32.
The event in Elizabethtown was not unique.
Birthday milestones such as 50 are big business — a plethora of humorous cards is available that poke fun at advancing age. It's almost a rarity to send a missive with sweet poetry, as was the custom in the past. There are also balloons, awards and other paraphernalia available for purchase to ratchet up the fun.
A dancing hamster sings somewhat in tune as it bleats out a jingle. A black rosette proclaims, "50 isn't Old…if You're a Tree."
There's a book entitled "Growing Old Disgracefully" that offers hints for enjoying the passage of the years.
"Perplex your children with increasingly erratic and unreasonable behavior," is one suggestion.
Word got around about Cross's tongue-in-cheek celebration — people thought it was great, she said.
Well, except for one friend who considered it morbid.
"I didn't mind turning 50," Cross said. "I like 50 better than 40. I like to be my age.
"With age comes experience and knowledge."
And sometimes, a new nickname.
Some friends and family, Cross said, now call her O.J. — for Old Janet, of course.
Lifestyles
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