By STEVE OUELLETTE, Movie Review
Hurry, you've only got eight years or so to get a really comfortable bed, some fluffy pillows and an industrial-sized drum of Cheetos.
That's if you want to be prepared for the dawning of the age of "Surrogates."
In this world of 2017, virtually all members of the grungy human race spend their waking hours plugged in, controlling strong, beautiful androids by remote control with their minds.
These surrogates do all the work — and all the living — while the real-life people slowly atrophy. The invention has virtually eliminated jealousy, racism, crime and the necessity for gym memberships.
The warped utopia, however, is interrupted when a surrogate is killed by a strange new weapon that also fries the brain of the linked user. Waxy-complexioned cop Tom Greer (Bruce Willis) and his unblinking partner (Radha Mitchell) set out to crack the crime. This becomes more difficult when Greer's "surry" is offed, leaving him to wander the city in his creaky, graying human body.
James Cromwell plays the wealthy, aging inventor of the surrogate system. Ving Rhames is a rabble-rousing prophet who speaks to the small communities of "meatbags" — humans without surrogates. Rosamund Pike is effective as Greer's wife, who clings to her surrogate while her husband begins to have doubts about a remote-control life.
"Surrogates" has the glimmer of a fascinating idea, making a commentary on our plugged-in society (the next logical step after Twitter?) in the process. Unfortunately, the story and the execution are far too flawed.
The dialogue is robotic and the film (at just under 90 minutes) is actually too short. There's a lot to consider here, and if the story had been fleshed out — no pun intended — a little more, it would have been more interesting and satisfying. As it stands, the resolution is far too facile.
I feel safe placing the blame on the writing team, the same duo behind the disappointing last two "Terminator" sequels, the dreadful giant alligator flick "Primeval" and the historically dreadful "Catwoman." All the unemployed screenwriters in Hollywood and these guys keep getting hired?
"Surrogates" has some moments that will really make you think, but it doesn't ever touch your emotions. It may be best to watch it at home with the fluffy pillows and Cheetos.
Rental Recommendation: Bruce Willis has done science fiction much better; in "Twelve Monkeys" for example. Grade: A-.
E-mail Steve Ouellette at: ouellette1918@gmail.com
