It's been almost two weeks since I returned from Nicaragua.
On that late Thursday night, I rode home reflecting on an experience that will forever mark me. I almost felt relieved at the cold air all around me, and I watched out the window in awe at the houses and stores, so open, such miracles, that we have here. Perhaps the biggest miracle of all, was when we pulled into my driveway, and for the first time, I saw my house.
Now, I've looked at my house millions of times. I've seen it in the spring, winter, fall, summer, daytime, nighttime, after a long trip and after a typical day. But that night, for the first time in my life, I saw; and I mean really saw my house. It's not a mansion by any means, but it's such a far cry from shacks with dirt floors.
I started to cry. I felt a mixture of appreciation and guilt.
Why do I deserve this?
SCARED AND WORRIED
I spent the next few days quietly, reflecting on everything that happened in the past week, until I was ready to return to school this Tuesday. To be honest, I was scared to come back. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to have a positive impact on the people around me, and I was worried that people would ask questions that would be hard to hear — and hard to answer.
I was pleasantly surprised. I was overwhelmed by the number of people that approached me, wanting to know more about the Mission of Hope and how they could get involved.
GET INVOLVED
Of course, it is still difficult for people to understand.
Almost everyone grasps the concept of poverty in Nicaragua; they can link the two together. But none can understand what that truly means. I didn't either, before.
It's something that must be experienced. There are some things that are so awful or so amazing, there really isn't anything to say about them.
I encourage everyone who has questions or interests to get involved themselves. It's the only way to know what I can't describe in words or photos. We need all the help we can get, and it could change everything for you.
JOY AND PAIN
At first, when I got back, I knew things were different. I didn't feel right. I felt as if I was a puzzle piece that was taken from the puzzle, morphed and changed, attempting to push myself back into a world where I no longer fit.
But as time goes on, I'm realizing that I'm still the same person — I'm just facing a new direction now. Although disorienting at first, I think this is a really good thing. It's a direction of passion. It's a direction of service. It's a direction that helps me feel less and less afraid. It's a direction of HOPE.
When you sign up for the mission, it's all about giving. No one ever tells you how much you actually gain. The mission has given me so much, and I am eternally grateful to everyone who supported me on it. It has given me wisdom, through joy and pain. It has given me knowledge and understanding of the world around me. It has given me friendships; friendships I'm sure will last a lifetime.
Most of all, it has given me an overwhelming feeling of peace. For the first time since I can remember, I'm not stressing over things that don't matter in the long run. I think I've found something I truly love — my calling. Things are falling into place. I feel like I'm being guided on a path that just feels right.
ALWAYS HOPE
If I am to leave you with one thought, let it be this one: Never lose hope.
What bothers me the most in the world are people who have lost hope. Especially adults. When things don't go the right way, I've heard many say that they have lost faith in humanity or in the world.
This can no longer happen for me. I've found that those who the world has given nothing have more faith than those who the world has given everything, could ever imagine. If they can keep such an abundant, glorious faith in humans, the world and God, why can't we?
As long as there is a drop of love existing in the world, there will always, always, always be hope.
Read Sara LoTemplio's other blog entries and learn more at ncmissionofhope.org.


