Parents get advice on cyber bullying, social networks

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November 28, 2010

Public forum targets ways to keep kids safe while surfing Internet

BOB BENNETT Press-Republican The Press Republican Sun Nov 28, 2010, 07:10 AM EST

PERU — Parents should limit their kids' Internet access and monitor their cell-phone usage.

That was the central message at a public forum on social networking and cyber bullying held recently at Peru Central School.

Attorney Jacqueline M. Kelleher, Clinton County Family Court Judge Timothy Lawliss and New York State Police Northern Region Computer Crime Unit Investigator Jerome "Jay" Miner said the Internet, cell phones and other social-networking devices present some real dangers when it comes to online predators and cyber bullying.

LIMIT INTERNET

Miner's speech focused primarily on online predators. It's his job to catch those people, and he's seen many terrible situations over the years, he told the audience of about 20. He limits his daughter's Internet access and monitors what she does online and who she talks with on her cell phone, he said.

Even Bill Gates, who made his fortune from the Internet, limits his kids to a half-hour a day, Miner added.

"If you lock up your guns and your drugs, you should lock up the Internet. If you leave a 14-year-old boy in a room with a computer, it's not a question of if, but how long, he will look at porn."

And some of those sites put children at risk of running into a child predator, Miner added.

He also reminded parents that kids not only access the Web with computers but also with other devices, such as cell phones and even hand-held gaming systems like the Nintendo DSI.

FORCED TO STRIP

Miner told the audience about two 14-year-old girls who found themselves video chatting with a stranger in a minivan.

The man had an 8-year-old girl in the van with him, and he was molesting her. He threatened "to do this and this" to the little girl if they didn't strip for him, Miner said.

The man was using a random business's WiFi connection from the parking lot, which made him untraceable.

Miner concluded his speech by saying that the Internet is good thing, but it has lots of bad potential.

"The technology is a big problem because kids are naive about how many people can get to them."

LASTING IMAGES

Kelleher's speech focused mainly on the permanence of the photos and Web pages that kids create all the time, which can cause some real liability issues for parents, she said.

She advised parents to educate their kids and tell them to be careful about sending pictures to boyfriends and girlfriends because their relationships often don't last forever, and the pictures they send can be transferred from person to person and to the Internet.

Miner agreed, adding that even Facebook pages last forever. He said that if you create one and then take it down, you can still find it by Googling it later. That's because Google keeps copies of all the Web pages it finds, for faster searches.

Computers also cache Web pages that can be accessed later, even if they have been removed from the Internet.

Kelleher said this is particularly a problem if the child poses nude or takes provocative pictures that could be interpreted as child porn.

NON-SCHOOL ACTION

Certain photos could also get parents into trouble. For example, Kelleher said her daughter once took a picture of her 20-year-old friend sitting in Kelleher's kitchen drinking a glass of wine and posted it on Facebook.

She said many of the problems associated with cyber bullying take place off campus and reminded the audience that if it starts at school, the school can take action.

But she said parents should preempt this by educating their kids about the problems and also by keeping an eye on them. Many of the problems happen during after-school hours before parents get home from work. Parents can curb this by making sure kids know someone could pop in at any time, she said.

"Make sure they know that your place won't be one where kids can come and do as they please."

MONITORING ACTIVITY

Lawliss concentrated mainly on what parents can do about these issues.

He said they should check their kids' computers and let them know they are doing so.

Kelleher backed that up, saying, "The Internet should not be the private space of a 7- or 8-year-old."

Lawliss said that if a problem does arise, parents need to go to police. If someone over age 15 is harassing their child, that person can be prosecuted as an adult, Lawliss reminded the audience.

But he also said parents should make sure their kids have "clean hands" themselves before doing so.