Surviving the wedding season

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September 28, 2008

By ELYSE BETTERS The Press Republican Sun Sep 28, 2008, 05:15 AM EDT

So, your best friends are succumbing one by one and you find yourself invited to three, four, maybe even five weddings in a month's time. With holidays around the corner and fuel prices at a staggering high, most people would shudder at the slew of invitations arriving in their mailbox along with all those unappreciated bills.

Well, as a wedding guest, there is hope for you. The light at the end of the tunnel can be seen with just a bit of budgeting, proper planning and smart decision making.

"Life is about budgeting, right? So, it's obviously a great way to handle a busy wedding season, too," said Sherry Crouse, owner of A Reflection of You in Plattsburgh. She is a certified wedding consultant with more than a decade of experience.

While you may not see your savings account grow during a wedding season, you can do your best to keep it from shrinking or vanishing. Typically, most engagements will average about a year, and usually a guest will be aware of which weddings will include him or her on the guest list months in advance. So, according to Crouse, if you're surprised to receive an invitation to someone's wedding and it requires many expenses, send the couple a gift, but don't attend.

"Don't feel obligated to attend every wedding you're invited to," Crouse explained. "If money is tight, be smart and attend the weddings that are most important."

Once you have looked at the stack of invitations on your dining-room table and slowly cut them down, it is time to set a budget.

The average guest should spend $50 to $100 on a gift, Crouse recommended, whereas a person not attending the wedding should spend around $25 to $50. Crouse also said the best way to save money is by sticking to the registry and shopping early.

The Wedding Channel's Web site (www.weddingchannel.com) defines a bridal registry as "a service provided by retail stores to help couples in the communication of gift preferences to wedding guests." After selecting items from a store's stock, the couple's list of desired items is then made available to all wedding guests.

Upon the purchase of a listed item, the registry is updated accordingly; therefore, the system helps prevent duplication or unwanted gifts, potentially saving time and money for both the giver and recipient.

The resourceful site also claims the most common items found on a registry are casual dinnerware, casual glassware and cookware. A typical registry is usually posted at a national retail store, so all the wedding guests should have access to the products. Crouse also believes a proper registry should have a full range of prices.

"A well-thought registry will have low- to high-priced gifts. A couple should know that not all guests can afford an expensive gift, so there should be products listed for a lesser price," Crouse said.

"That's why it's good to look at the registry early and start shopping as soon as possible. More gifts in your budget range will be listed in the beginning, plus you can always bargain shop if you have the time."

Crouse recommended looking for the same gift listed on a registry at other retail stores to see if money can be saved through sales or a clearance, but she warned guests about completely veering from the registry -- especially if they are unaware of the couple's personal taste.

Once money has been spent on the gifts, the rest of your budget should be used for travel expenses and wardrobe. If you have been invited and must attend an out-of-town wedding, the best way to save money is by turning it into a vacation.

"Usually a couple will go through a particular hotel for their entire guest list in order to earn discounts and bundle rates. That is usually the cheapest option, but I would always look at other hotels in the area to see if more money can be saved," Crouse said.

The Wedding Channel even offers a service on their Web site that makes hotel arrangements for out-of-town guests and guarantees them the lowest price.

After the hotel has been booked, car-pooling would be the next best option for saving money.

If the wedding is too far away to drive, then use an online tool like Expedia.com or Orbitz.com to find cheap airfares. Using a wedding excursion as your vacation will also help your savings account in the long run.

"It's becoming more common for weddings to be out-of-town. Couples want that memorable wedding day at a memorable place, unfortunately it can make it hard on the guests," Crouse explained. "So, intelligent budgeting can help a guest. It's not improper to use the time as a vacation. In fact, I see guests doing it all the time."

Lastly, clothes can be an expensive part of a wedding. Some couples have strict attire policies, while others do not. Obviously, one of the best ways to budget multiple wedding invitations is by purchasing one spectacular outfit and wearing it to all the weddings.

"The only time one outfit can become a problem is when the other guests at the wedding are the same people at all the weddings you need to attend. No one wants to wear the same dress or suit to four different weddings when everyone there saw you wear it to the last three," Crouse added. "That's when thrift shopping comes in handy."

A thrift shop, according to the Wedding Channel's Web site, is just a shop that sells used goods (especially clothes) at a low price. Every town or city has at least one up-scale thrift shop, where amazing clothes can be found at a decent price.

"Be wary about the clothes you're buying, though. You want to look nice, so only skimp until it's noticeable. The best way to make money go a long way with clothes is by accessorizing," Crouse said. "Sometimes jewelry, shoes or a belt can make a dress look completely different and new."

So, now that you have opened all your invitations, there are just a few things to remember when budgeting for the stressful wedding season: stick to the registry and shop early, turn a wedding into your vacation and thrift shop 'till you drop or make one outfit go a long way. With all of the resources and tips available to wedding guests, it's easy to save money and spare the piggy bank when entering the wedding season.

"Weddings should be an enjoyable thing to remember," Crouse said. "So, just try to have fun, budget wisely and make the best of the situation."