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September 3, 2008

Home-schooling mom worries about public school

'Watching them learn was such a cool experience"

By STEPHEN BARTLETT

PLATTSBURGH -- Kellie Porter didn't want to disrupt the family unit she'd created.

She and her three children were individuals, but through home-schooling they'd formed a bubble that magnified love, respect and compassion while keeping negative outside influences at bay.

But the bubble burst, and with teary eyes, Kellie sends her little ones to public school for the first time today.

As they embark on their new journey, an array of questions flood the 39-year-old single mother's mind: Will they fit in? Will they excel? Will the kids remain caring, carefree and close?

"The hardest part for me is separating them," said Kellie, sitting on her living-room couch last week, her face wet with tears.

FAMILY CLOSENESS

She decided to home-school her children when Zoe was school-age.

"I didn't want to part with her."

She took it a day at a time. Lessons might take place on the porch, in bed and even the hot tub.

"Watching them learn was such a cool experience," Kellie said. "Kids love to learn, and when you can tap into what they like, it's a good thing."

Her children enjoyed time at home, and Kellie couldn't help but smile as their bond strengthened.

"I liked home-schooling," said Nell, 6. "My mom was there and my brother and sister."

TIME FOR CHANGE?

But as Zoe neared her third-grade year, she wanted more from her educational experience than Kellie was able to offer. Liam also asked questions about public school.

Kellie and Keith, the children's father, own and operate Adirondack Canvas, which custom fabricates canvas tops and enclosures for boats. It became harder to find a pattern during the day that everyone could fit into, especially considering how busy the business could be in the morning, which happened to also be when the children were at their best in terms of learning.

"It was hard not to answer the phone," Kellie said.

She researched public school before Zoe's fourth-grade year but worried that sending them would shatter their bond. She said she felt sick anytime she considered committing to the idea.

Then, this past summer, she decided to devote more time to the business.

NEW ADVENTURE

Her children seem mostly excited about the idea of attending public school.

"I will meet a lot of friends," said Zoe, who is 10.

Liam, 8, worries he might fall victim to school bullies, though that fear seems outweighed by his excitement about recess.

"The playground is huge," he said.

Another thought had been nagging Kellie, too; she wondered if through home-schooling she'd neglected her children's educational needs, despite their success on end-of-year tests. That internal struggle sometimes found her lying in bed crying, with her head advocating public school and her heart demanding she keep her children home.

She shut her emotions off and contacted Plattsburgh City School District and over the summer toured Momot Elementary School.

She second guessed herself at times, and the decision became increasingly difficult as summer vacation came to an end.

"I knew what I had to do, but I couldn't think about it," Kellie said as fresh tears rolled over her cheeks. "It's very hard, but I know I did the right thing. They will be fine."

MIXED EMOTIONS

Still, she's concerned about negative, outside influences.

"I worry they'll come home talking about sex or being judgmental," Kellie said. "You hear about 12 going on 20; well, Zoe is 10 going on 10, and she thinks about things she should be thinking about."

Kellie also fears they might not be at the same level as their peers academically.

At the same time, she knows they'll make new friends and start getting invites to the birthday parties they hear about.

"And I'm excited to be able to tap back into my own life a little bit more," Kellie said. "For years, it's been about the kids, and Kellie was shoved way, way back."

sbartlett@pressrepublican.com

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