Mother copes with family disabilities

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August 4, 2008

Anonymous The Press Republican Mon Aug 04, 2008, 12:00 AM EDT

Local woman cares for disabled sons dispite vision, hearing loss

By KEVIN COUTURE

PLATTSBURGH -- Sherri Gonyea thinks assisting her two sons with their disabilities is just something a mother should do.

But Sherri isn't just any mother -- she, herself, is legally blind and wears hearing aids.

Jeremy, 21, has autism, while his brother, James, 15, has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

"It's just like being any other mom," Sherri said. "You do what you have to do. They are your responsibility, and nobody else will do it for you."

Although her son wasn't diagnosed with autism until the age of 9, Sherri knew long before.

She said that she could tell by his hand movements and by the fact that he didn't like people touching him, a key symptom of autism.

"Jeremy used to lay around on the floor and not do anything. He used to be very sensitive -- nobody could touch him, hold him or hug him."

Needing assistance with personal hygiene, bathing and dressing, he has made great strides to burst the "bubble" that surrounded him for so many years, Sherri said.

"He's more comfortable with people now."

Jeremy attended Champlain Valley Educational Services in 1990, graduating this past June.

He now can be found Monday through Friday at the ARC Path Center, having occupational therapy, physical therapy and learning simple tasks.

The Path program is designed to help individuals cope more efficiently with their environment in such areas as social behavior, peer interaction and independent community functions.

"I think he's learned a lot over the years," Sherri said, looking lovingly at her nonverbal son. "It's just that he can't express himself."

Being a single mother of children with disabilities and having disabilities herself creates many other challenges.

"I feel limited as to what I can do with them," Sherri said tearfully. "I'd love to be able to take a walk down the road with them, but I can't do things like normal parents can do. I don't feel safe without being able to hear or see."

Nighttime is also difficult.

"I wouldn't be able to hear Jeremy when we are sleeping because I take my hearing aids out. If I wake up during the night, I do feel better because I can check on him, and I sleep better the rest of the night."

Over the years, many people have entered Jeremy's life, but one of the most influential has been his Sunmount Developmental Disability Services Office case manager, Cathy Downs.

"She taught me a lot about how to advocate for Jeremy," Sherri fondly remembered. "She's been the difference between Jeremy not receiving services and getting everything that he needs to help him get to where he is now."

She also spoke highly of Jeremy's CVES teacher, Carol Burleigh.

"She is a wonderful teacher, and she was great with Jeremy, and very supportive of the both of us."

Proud of his accomplishments, Sherri believes that Jeremy can still broaden his horizons.

"The Path Center gives Jeremy the opportunity to get out five days a week. He comes here, and they do all kinds of activities. We have him set up to go with a group in the community that offers their volunteer skills, like shredding paper."

Sherri sometimes finds herself frustrated -- not with her two sons but with people who don't understand what she goes through.

"I can't take the ignorance of people around me."

She urged parents of disabled children to get involved in early development and early education.

"Don't be afraid to ask questions, and don't be afraid to say if a doctor is wrong."

She added with a smile, "As a mother, you know better than anybody else what is going on with your child."

As for Jeremy's "bubble," it's about half broken, according to Sherri.

kcountry@primelink1.net